Wish You Were Here

I can't believe that it has been six years. Hard to believe when life happens so quickly, and you can barely keep up with it. I try not to get all down and dopey when it comes to this time of year, but I cant help but think about it and wish there was something I could do to take my mind off of it. It does seem to get easier though. I don't really cry anymore, which is kind of ridiculous if you think about it. But then again, that's me. I think the hardest thing about it, is knowing that so many things were left unanswered. Maybe that is the reason why I cannot let anything go, why all I want is closure out of everything. We never really got that. I lost a good friend that taught me everything about music, who really opened me up and was there on the days that hurt the worst in high school. I lost the first guy I ever loved. It is hard to be upset about it though, knowing that I gained in this situation. I got to know this person, he got to be part of my life. As said at the funeral, "I don't feel sorry for the people who lost Kyle, I feel sorry for the people who never got to know him." Pretty amazing perspective, if you ask me. I know if he were still here now, he would be proud of me... and he would think that what I was doing was 'pretty fuckin' cool'... I sometimes think he is still with me, as cliche as it sounds.. it helps a lot. A part of him will always be with me. Here's to you, old friend. I am lighting a stick of incense and listening to some Dave Matthews Band in your memory. You were the greatest.